Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The best revenge is premature balding
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
