nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize