i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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