called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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