playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
