so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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