turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
