Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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