You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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