you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
