So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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