Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
