...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
