Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
