Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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