when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize