Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
