was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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