I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
