I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
