What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
