get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
is that a dick in a sweater?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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