Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize