I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Define "chronic" masturbator.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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