Got a toothbrush?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
