that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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