How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
