My cat gives me a boner
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
sex in a hospital.. check
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
