for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize