well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
