guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
too bad you live with your parents still
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
