Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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