You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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