dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
