You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
