You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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