big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
