and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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