So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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