I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize