Dignity is for republicans.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
