that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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