i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
