Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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