The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
being pregnant is like rehab
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
