I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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