Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
