Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What drink are we having for lunch?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
