New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
