its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
