He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
