so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
