was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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