he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
