I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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