But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
