hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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