Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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