the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
