I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
