You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
