no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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