I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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